Sins of Omission

July 31, 2009

Time ticks by.
A day becomes a month.
Months flow into years.
Years churn slowly
into decades.

Never again
do we meet

face to face.

Our time
began,
occurred,
and ended
within such
a short span —

less than twenty-four hours.

Before you
became

somebody else’s.

I do not speak of you
mouth closed
by fear,
trepidation,
and

self-imposed silence.

Shut down
by others
who choose to believe

what happened
what I did-
is

easily forgettable.

My sin of omission

still haunts me.

Wrapped inside
the baby boy
who slipped
from my embrace
to her’s.

Born
not under her heart
But

from within.


Conversations with My Muse: Dreams

July 31, 2009

Excuse me, but….Erik Estrada?

Erik Estrada? Who’s that?

The guy who was totally “crushing” on me last night.

Were you hurt?

No, silly. That’s a term

What’s a “term”?

“Crushing”

What’s it mean?

It means that someone *likes* another person.

Well, I must be crushing on you then.

No…lol, not likes as in Hey-I-enjoy-being-your-friend kind of *like*, but *like like*

Still not getting it.

Let me give you an analogy you can understand, ok?

That might work.

How do you feel about me?

I think you’re cool.

How do you feel about….chocolate?

It’s good..

Vodka and cranberry juice?

LOOOOOVE it.

Well there ya go, Erik liked me last night to the same degree you like Vodka and cranberry juice.

Oh, I see. Is he cute?

Well, last night he was. This morning, probably not as much.

Did you sleep with him?

No!!!! Good Lord, I’m married!

Then why were you with him last night?

Hey, he came to me. I didn’t go out gallavanting.

I’m getting confused again.

I probably should fill in some minor details.

That would certainly help.

I was sleeping and –

He came into your room while you were sleeping????

No! This is the point in our conversation where you don’t talk, okay?

Uh humm..

So, I was sleeping and Erik came to me in a dream.

Ah!!!! I get it. So you dreamt about being in love with Erik Estrada?

Yes, now you understand.

I get it….question?

Who’s that?

Oh my God…you don’t know who Erik Estrada is? How long have you been floating around this world?

Thousands of years, and no I haven’t. I can’t meet every one ya know..

I’ll give you that.

So, tell me more. Who is he and why was he in your dreams last night?

He used to star on a popular television show called “CHIPS”. He was a cop. They called him “Ponch”.

Ponch — that sounds like a fat man in a rain suit.

Trust me, he wasn’t anything like that. He was a very handsome guy — his face was plastered all over the gossip magazines.

You keep saying “was” — is he dead?

No, he’s still alive. But, he’s thirty years older now. I don’t really know what he looks like.

Well, you can google him ya know.

I should! Hang on…

C.H.I.P.S.

C.H.I.P.S.

There he is as “Ponch” from CHIPS

Wow, he is pretty hot.

Yes, I had such a crush on him….in 7th grade!

7th Grade? Gosh, that was….if I do my math correctly….1977?

Yes.

Holy crap that was a long time ago!

I know!

What does he look like now?

Hang on, let me try to find another picture..

Erik Now

Erik Now

That’s what he looks like now? Hmmm.

Yes. I’m afraid he’s a bit too over-botoxed and polished now.

What’s botox?

It’s the latest craze out here. Ever hear of botulism?

No, what’s that?

It’s a form of bacteria allowed to breed in food. The bacteria is a toxin–

Toxin? That’s poison, right?

Yes.

And people use this on their FACES?

Yes..

Holy Hercules, that’s gross!

Well, they don’t use a deadly supply on their face…

Oh?

No, they just use a smaller dose…It just temporarily paralyzes the facial muscles, leaving the skin looking taut. And, unfortunately, a little like a mannaquin’s face too.

I noticed that with Marcia Cross and Nicole Kidman — beautiful ladies, frozen faces.

Exactly. So…back to my dream with Erik. What was that all about?

What do you mean?

Why did I have a dream about Erik Estrada? I haven’t thought of him in years…

I dunno.

Aren’t you my muse? My visionary? The woman who brings me inspiration, creativity, poetry, etc? The one who, without those skills I’d be forced to study calculus equations? *hee hee*

Well, yes and no…

Huh?

I don’t do the night shift. I only work the 8 am to 10 pm shift with you.

You don’t?

Of course not! Did you honestly think I worked around the clock for no pay?

Well….my dreams are just as vivid as my day thoughts..I just figured —

Well, sorry to disappoint ya chickie, but I don’t do nights. I save that for my co-worker. And, let me give you a little insight about him —

Who?

My co-worker, “The Sandman”…

Ahhhhhh. What is it?

He tips the bottle a little too often. You know — glug, glug, glug

What makes you say that?

Think about it carefully. Do your dreams ever make perfect sense?

No, but they seem to make sense at the time I’m having them.

That’s because The Sandman is still at the bar, knocking back a few pints. Every thing seems okay, while he’s still sober. But by the time you wake up and begin to think about your dream — well, he’s passed out on the floor of a bathroom somewhere, waiting for the effects to wear off.

The Sandman’s a raging alcoholic?

Absolutely! But, he’s hilarious at times. Ever dream about being somewhere totally naked?

All the time..

That’s him playing a practical joke on you.

I don’t see how my being naked in public is in any way, shape or form *funny*.

I guess you had to be there….We get big giggles out of it when we all gather back at Mt Olympus to play the game tapes back. I swear Zeus is going to fall off his gilded throne every time he sees another naked person sitting in a classroom, to be honest.

Well, thanks for having a laugh at my expense.

Oh, lighten up. It’s only a dream. Like you wouldn’t actually be naked anywhere in public, right?

Maybe a nude beach somewhere..

You have those now?????

Yes, not exactly sure where though.

Wowwww, I am so there…Let me google it. I’m about ready to leave anyways, got some spare time on my hands.

You’re a wild one, aren’t you?

Always.

Okay, gotta get some more coffee in me anyways. Hugs?

As usual.

Later, chickie!


Shoot-Me-Now Moments

July 30, 2009

“Potty Patch” – the inside patch of artificial, turf-like carpeting you can put down for your dog to relieve itself indoors while you’re gone. It comes with its own “catch tray” you can empty at the end of the day.

Advantage: You won’t need to Twitter things like “My G-dam* dog pissed on my G-dam* carpeting AGAIN!” to all your Twittermates.

Disadvantage: You might have to Twitter: “My G-Dam* dog pissed inside my house AGAIN” to all your Twittermates.

Grade: D

Comments: Teach your G-dam* dog to relieve itself outside, like they’ve been doing for centuries. They aren’t cats — they are trainable*.

(*Bischon Frises, shitzus, poodles, chihuahuas and all other designer dogs that are pampered by their neurotic owners are the exception to this rule)

ALERT: NO OFFENSE TO THE ELDERLY, THE HANDICAPPED OR SEXUALLY PERVERSE IS INTENDED BY MY COMMENTS BELOW.

(FOR THAT MATTER, NO OFFENSE TO NEUROTIC DOG OWNERS, EITHER. BUT I WOULD RECOMMEND YOU GET YOURSELF A “REAL DOG” INSTEAD OF THAT OVER-SIZED RAT YOU’RE TRYING TO PASS OFF AS YOUR OWN FOUR-LEGGED ‘BABY'”)

“Freedom Wand Self Wiping Toilet Aid”: An extending, toilet-paper brush for those hard-to-reach personal areas. (Translation: ass crevasses too large to scale down in a single swipe)

Advantage: Believe it or not, this makes great sense for those who are handicapped and do not have 100% use of their hands or arms. (A demographic that seems to be completely overlooked in the general media population by the way — Hi, Aunt Bevvie!–be over real soon! Stay tight until then, okay?)

Disadvantage: It probably would not be a good idea to mention you use one over a dinner of frijoles and/or oatmeal.

Grade: B- (only because of the handicapped issue, otherwise a D)

Comments: There are very few people who’d be kind enough to help me with my personal hygiene issues. I imagine we’d have to be “really, really” close friends, or they’d be working in a nursing home.


There’s a Bison in My Basement: With Special Thanks To Dr. Seuss

July 30, 2009

There’s a bison in my basin
down the basement
of my house.
It jumped into the basin
When it glanced upon a mouse.

I cannot help but wonder,
while I sit around and pout,
If this bison leaves my basement
What will happen to my house?

To keep a bison in the basin
of the basement in my house
I must build a big encasement
or that bison will get out.

This encasement in the basement
must be strong enough to hold
a bison from his childhood
Up until he grows too old.

Still I cannot help but wonder,
Would he be better in a zoo?
Oh my goodness!
I’ve just noticed
that my bison count is TWO!

Now two bison in my basement
where before there was just one.
And to think I thought my bison
was going to bring me lots of fun.

But with two there’s added trouble
and I cannot help but think,
How do I wash two bison,
when they both begin to stink?

Alas, a bigger basin’s needed
to relieve my misery.
Oh no, I can’t believe it.
Now my bison count is THREE!

As I stare ‘round in amazement
at three bison in my basement
I have a feeling the encasement
will be in need of strong replacement.

My busy basement building
to increase my bison’s pen
has me sweating and regretting
that first bison that moved in.

Whoo! — I’ve finally contained them
back behind my basement door.
Oh no, don’t even tell me —
Has the head count grown to FOUR?

From one to four the bison number
in the basement of my home.
And the trouble they’ve created
makes me wish I were alone.

All the needings and the feedings
keep my bison all alive.
Oh yikes, I can’t control them!
As I count to number… FIVE???

Oh my goodness, someone help me!
I can’t hold them anymore.
I can see them quickly climbing
up the stairs and out the door.

Grab a broom and help me guide them.
Or use a great big stick.
I don’t care where we must hide them.
Just as long as…oh no, SIX!

It seems as quickly as I count them
there arrives another one.
Six and seven, eight and nine then
Final number? How ’bout TEN!!.

So as I struggle to contain them
in the basement of my house,
I won’t forget how all this started —
I can thank that one darn mouse!

Copyright 2009. Unauthorized copying of this material is strictly prohibited.


Playing for Change: A wonderful way to unite through music

July 30, 2009

Check this out — way cool!

http://www.playingforchange.com

“Stand by Me” and “One Love” are the best!

The Nerd


Conversations with My Muse: Knowing My Audience

July 30, 2009

Ya know, chickie…people are starting to worry about you.

How so?

You’re having daily conversations with a nonexistent person.

Nonexistent? Who’s that?

Me.

But, you’re becoming very real to me.

In what ways?

Well, I know more about you than I did back in, say, June.

I didn’t really exist in June.

Just because I didn’t acknowledge your presence, doesn’t mean you didn’t exist.

Hmmm..feeling very existential today, I see.

Kind of. I’m trying to get away from always writing about writing.

You growing tired of our conversations?

Not at all. I think they’ve been extremely valuable to me.

Then why the sudden desire to wander off topic?

It’s not a wandering, so much as a stroll into other wooded areas.

Come again?

I’m thinking about hiring you for something else other than just writing.

But, I’m a professional muse. Assisting others with writing is, well, that’s my job.

But didn’t you also mention you’re considering going back to school to become a therapist?

I did. Are you on the verge of some mental crisis I should know about?

Not at all — LOL! I just thought you’d be a good person to talk with about “other” things, not just writing.

What kinds of “other” things? That’s a pretty wide topic area there.

Just “other” things. Relationships, general thoughts, creativity, suppressed rage..

Whoaaa, somethings are better left to the professionals. That last part about suppressed rage — I don’t even want to go there.

I was only kidding. I threw that out there just to see if you were paying attention.

I took my morning medication. I’m very sharply focused right now. Knife’s-edge focus.

Ha ha ha! Reminds me of someone…

Who?

My dog. Have I ever told you about how focused he is around food?

Yes, he is a beagle, after all…

Of course it helps to have a mom who will feed him yum yums on a consistent basis.

Yea, yea — you wrote something about that: “Who Owns Whom?” — that’s a typical snapshot of your relationship, huh?

Pretty much. I’ve often told people that if he and hubby fell through the ice at the same time, I’d rescue my dog first, wipe him off, warm him up, feed him, then go back for my hubby.

How does your hubby feel about playing second fiddle to a canine?

He understands. He has learned to accept this.

You aren’t really serious about that, are you? Your dog comes before your husband?

LOL — well, the dog does love me unconditionally..

Are we back to a “therapist-patient” thing here? I hope not, cuz I can’t be sworn to confidentiality issues. Not when we’re sitting here chatting like this.

I understand. Naw, I’m wise enough to know when things are for public display, and when I need to keep my mind’s trap shut.

You screwed up the other day, though.

Oh boy, did I. I had to fix that real quick.

All’s right again?

Yep. For now. I guess it’s all relative.

How so?

Certain things need to remain unspoken, or at least unwritten.

Why some and not others?

Well, I’m not saying I can’t share them with you. I just need to be extra aware of who does and does not get to read them. I must be aware of my audience at all times.

Speaking of which — congrats on the blog stats!

Ya, how about that? Over 1,000 hits in less than a month. Someone must be enjoying my words.

I agree — you’re a very good writer, you know. I’ve barely had to assist you in this process. Some folks struggle for days over a single letter. Not you — you seem to get things down quickly, do some minor edits, then voila — another blog post.

Yes, I find my initial thoughts and words are what I really want to say. If I start messing with them too much, I lose the original message.

I get that.

And my voice — I think I’ve finally discovered what kind of voice I have.

And that would be?

Casual, informal, friendly. I prefer this style to anything else.

Even a good rant?

Well, I have my off days too.

Don’t we all? But, overall — how are you feeling about the quality of your writing?

It seems to be improving on a daily basis. Oh! Did I tell you a friend of mine asked me to read and write a professional review of his new book?

Really??? Wow, that’s a real feather in your cap.

Sure is — that shows he trusts my judgment and my writing skills.

Definitely.

But, of course I had to find an error in the book.

Occupational hazard, isn’t it?

Tell me about it. I’ve often referred to myself as “Princess Grammatica, Keeper of the Red Pen”

That’s a good one! Do you proofread much?

I work part time as a freelancer. Low pay, but I love it. Looking to expand my opportunities.

How come?

It really forces me to focus. I look at every little thing on the page, searching for an error like a rescue dog in an avalanche.

Hm..

What’s wrong?

I’m not a big fan of the end process of writing — you know, the editing/proofreading/rewriting thing. I like the input, not output.

I get that. Not all folks do. I love all stages of writing — from brainstorming until publication. It’s “my thing”.

Well you certainly do come with an arm’s length of credentials.

It’s in the damn DNA, I say.

So, back to this issue of “therapy” writing..

What about it?

I suppose if you need to bend my ear about something that’s bothering you, and it’s unrelated to writing, I guess I’d be amenable to that.

You would?

Yes, so long as we remember whose sitting in the audience, reading our stuff.

I agree, totally.

Well, then — it’s a done deal. Look for some of those musings to materialize from time to time.

Will do.

I guess I better go check my email. I’m waiting to hear how that speech in Darfur went.

How did that turn out, presentation wise?

Oh, that was very intense. She did all she could to keep from breaking down. I had to stand beside her and hold her shoulders, she was shaking so much.

Do you think the speech worked?

The government officials looked pretty stoic — hard to read them. Not sure what will come about as a result.

All you can do is just give us our words, the rest is up to us.

So true.

Okay, gonna go get some lunch and get on with my day.

Hugs?

Sure, why not?

Later, chickie.


Conversations with My Muse: Unblocking Writer’s Block

July 29, 2009
  • Grannies with guns.
  • TV reality shows.
  • Bad drivers
  • Bad teenage drivers
  • Bad teenage drivers with cell phones
  • Anyone with a cell phone
  • Anyone with a cell phone standing in line at a check out counter, tying up my time and energy.
  • I wonder if the Goodyear Blimp would make a “ssssssss” sound if I poked it with an ice pick?
  • “Forget women, let’s talk beef!”
  • Why does my dog love me so much, but my cat hate me? Am I “catjudice”?

Heyyyyyy! Over here!!!!

Huh? Oh…hey.

What are you doing?

Just thinkin’

About what? That’s a pretty random list of stuff, cept for the teenage driver thing…

Just thinkin’ about things I might want to explore in greater detail…By the way, I have a question for you. Take a seat, please.

Rut roh, looks like I’m about to get an earful…maybe I need to back away a good foot or two…stay out of  “bitch slap” range

Might be a good idea…I’m a little cheesed off at you right now.

What’d I do?

You know what you did…

No, honestly I don’t. Was it something I said?

Hardly.

Something I did?

No.

Then what’s left?

Both

Huh?

Something you did not do and did not say.

What????

You didn’t do anything.

And you’re upset….why?

Because of that!

What the hell are you talking about here?

You did nothing. I am upset because you….did…..nothing.

I’m so friggen lost. Can you please try to explain this to me without causing a brain cramp here?

I have explained it to you. Twice now. You’re not listening to me.

I heard you loud and clear — you are mad at me for not doing anything.

Exactly.

What did I not do?

Anything! Geez, would you catch a clue here!!!!

I’m getting a headache.

That might be a brain cramp…I’ve had that all day now.

Brain cramp?

Yes…lemme ask you this — what have you been doing all day long?

I’ve been elsewhere….?

Uh huhhhh and….?

And what? I’ve been elsewhere. Nowhere near you. I haven’t done a thing to you and — ohhhhhh….

Do I see a light bulb going off here?

Well, maybe a flashlight — the batteries are still a little low right now..I’m having a hard time following the path of this conversation.

Turn the knob up higher.

That one right there?

Yes..

Oh! Okay..hang on — heyyyyy, looky here…room is lighting up again.

Amazing what a little creative imagination can do to a place, huh?

Yea, not so dark and fuzzy anymore.  Anyhooo…

Yes?

Just wonderin…you still upset with me?

A little. Working on my list though.

Yes, about that list…what is it anyways?

Oh — nothing, just a little battery for my imagination.

I didn’t realize imagination comes with its own jumper cables.

“Jumper Cables” — hmm, like that image. Yea, gonna use it again, somewhere.

Hey! speaking of power, I gotta run..

How come?

Somebody in Darfur needs my help in writing a speech.

Speech? That sounds like fun..what’s the subject?

Genocide. She’s presenting before her government.

Wow.

Pretty much. Hey —

What?

We friends again?

Of course, I just had a moment back there.

Apparently so. What was that all about?

Nothing.

Nothing? It had to be something. It just can’t not be about “nothing”.

But it was.

Okaaaay…guess it’s time to slip out of here before this starts all over again.

Good idea.

Later, chickie.