…That Evil Built

This is.
This is the place.
This is the place that housed all the people.
This is the place that housed all the people
who lived in the camp
that evil built.

This is.
This is the barbed wire.
This is the barbed wire surrounding the place
This is the barbed wire surrounding the place
that housed all the people to keep in the horrors
that evil built.

This is.
This is the ground.
This is the ground inside of the barbed wire
This is the ground inside of the barbed wire
that surrounded the place
that housed all the people
that evil built.

This is.
This is the factory.
This is the factory that emitted the smoke.
This is the factory that emitted the smoke
That burned all the people
who lived on the grounds
that were surrounded by barbed wire
that kept in all the horrors
That evil built.

This is the star.
This is the star that was pinned to the people.
This is the star that was pinned to the people
who died in the camps
who died in the ovens
who died on the grounds
who died behind barbed wire

that evil built.

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4 Responses to …That Evil Built

  1. Tricia says:

    I like the “nestled” poem. The drama builds. My favorite poem as a kid was The House That Jack Built.

    • wordnerd45 says:

      There is a positive and negative to the use of this format for poems. “The House That Jack Built” uses the format very effectively, because of the light-hearted content of the story. However, even though this style of poetry for this posting is “powerful”, it does lessen the seriousness of the topic, by downplaying the words and burying them in a formatted style. In this case, we’re looking more at the “container” instead of the “content”. If you were to compare this with my poem entitled “Yellow” (on my blog), you will see how the containers used affect the message given. Yellow slapped me upside my head, punched me in the chest, and made me say “Ow”. This just led me forward.

      Am I satisfied with my poem? Eh, not so much. But, when my muse talks, I need to listen.

      Thanks for your kind words! (We are our own worst critics, aren’t we?)

  2. Wow! That’s really good and powerful. So terrible it ever happened. I like the repetition of “This is” as it gives the poem great weight, especially in the solitary last line.

    • wordnerd45 says:

      Thank you Courtney! The poem style is called a “nestled poem”. It is designed to be built one line at a time, to build suspense and impact over the course of the poem. (I learned this style at my summer writing workshop and have found it to be an excellent way to work on sentence structure and arrangement) It’s also fun to change the direction at the last moment. There is a poem I wrote called “Smoke Em”, which does just that.

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