Lazy Bi*ch

Well, well, it looks like my
bitch has finally returned.

Did you even leave? Ha ha,
I barely noticed.

Anyways, you’re back
And I’m wondering —
Where the hell
is my dinner?

Step to it!

I don’t give a damn
if you’re tired
from a long day of work.

So what if
your feet hurt
your back is sore
and your job sucks
because your boss yelled at you
over something stupid you did.

I’m sure you deserved it anyways.

I don’t care,
because I’ve been here
waiting all day
for you to come back
and pay attention to me.

So when I say “jump up”
I mean it.

Hasn’t the last 12 years of living
with me taught you a single thing?

Are you that slow to learn?

When I say “feed me now”
the only responses I expect to
hear from your lips are “Yes, sir”
“Right away, sir”
and
“Anything else, sir?”

You need to know your
proper place around here, woman.

Because I’ll flat out
hurt you, if you don’t.

I’ve done it before,
And I’ll do it again.

That’s what makes me
KING around this place.

By the way,
Later on,
I expect some loving.
On my terms.

You’ll do what I ask
you to do,
until I tell you to stop.
And you will like it.

Because you need to realize,
I own you,
free and clear.

I get what I want
when I want it,
or else everyone
around me will suffer.

Now, go clean my litterbox.

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2 Responses to Lazy Bi*ch

  1. HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!!!!

    *helpless snickers*

    That was too good!

    M.L.

  2. Samantha says:

    I never realized just how sick and sadistic cats are… but, I think you nailed it!! =)

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