- Grannies with guns.
- TV reality shows.
- Bad drivers
- Bad teenage drivers
- Bad teenage drivers with cell phones
- Anyone with a cell phone
- Anyone with a cell phone standing in line at a check out counter, tying up my time and energy.
- I wonder if the Goodyear Blimp would make a “ssssssss” sound if I poked it with an ice pick?
- “Forget women, let’s talk beef!”
- Why does my dog love me so much, but my cat hate me? Am I “catjudice”?
Heyyyyyy! Over here!!!!
What are you doing?
About what? That’s a pretty random list of stuff, cept for the teenage driver thing…
Just thinkin’ about things I might want to explore in greater detail…By the way, I have a question for you. Take a seat, please.
Rut roh, looks like I’m about to get an earful…maybe I need to back away a good foot or two…stay out of “bitch slap” range
Might be a good idea…I’m a little cheesed off at you right now.
What’d I do?
You know what you did…
No, honestly I don’t. Was it something I said?
Something I did?
Then what’s left?
Something you did not do and did not say.
You didn’t do anything.
And you’re upset….why?
Because of that!
What the hell are you talking about here?
You did nothing. I am upset because you….did…..nothing.
I’m so friggen lost. Can you please try to explain this to me without causing a brain cramp here?
I have explained it to you. Twice now. You’re not listening to me.
I heard you loud and clear — you are mad at me for not doing anything.
What did I not do?
Anything! Geez, would you catch a clue here!!!!
I’m getting a headache.
That might be a brain cramp…I’ve had that all day now.
Yes…lemme ask you this — what have you been doing all day long?
I’ve been elsewhere….?
Uh huhhhh and….?
And what? I’ve been elsewhere. Nowhere near you. I haven’t done a thing to you and — ohhhhhh….
Do I see a light bulb going off here?
Well, maybe a flashlight — the batteries are still a little low right now..I’m having a hard time following the path of this conversation.
Turn the knob up higher.
That one right there?
Oh! Okay..hang on — heyyyyy, looky here…room is lighting up again.
Amazing what a little creative imagination can do to a place, huh?
Yea, not so dark and fuzzy anymore. Anyhooo…
Just wonderin…you still upset with me?
A little. Working on my list though.
Yes, about that list…what is it anyways?
Oh — nothing, just a little battery for my imagination.
I didn’t realize imagination comes with its own jumper cables.
“Jumper Cables” — hmm, like that image. Yea, gonna use it again, somewhere.
Hey! speaking of power, I gotta run..
Somebody in Darfur needs my help in writing a speech.
Speech? That sounds like fun..what’s the subject?
Genocide. She’s presenting before her government.
Pretty much. Hey —
We friends again?
Of course, I just had a moment back there.
Apparently so. What was that all about?
Nothing? It had to be something. It just can’t not be about “nothing”.
But it was.
Okaaaay…guess it’s time to slip out of here before this starts all over again.