I have grown tired of Facebook. Honestly, I don’t get it at all. After trying for several months to become the “computer savvy”, hip chick I thought I’d become, it’s time to throw in the towel and admit it — I’m just as much a dork over there as I am in the real world.
I tried to post useful, eye catching information like: “Hey! Check this out, a totally cool website of fun stuff!” and witty status reports: “Just crawled inside a vodka bottle — working my way out, need a lifeguard!” hoping to get funny retorts from my “cyber” friends. I’d check my computer several times a day, hoping against hope that someone, ANYONE would write something equally as funny and witty as I did. Just as a desperate attempt to validate my self-importance and wittiness. Nada. Not even the incoherent ramblings of a drunken passerby.
Not one of my 12 (big number, huh?) so called “friends” — the very same ones I had to “accept” as their friend in the first place, answered. Oh sure, I got a lot of “comments” added to my Facebook “Wall”, but much like high school, it was a lot of talk “around me” — other people’s conversations that contained fragmented bits and pieces of information I had absolutely no idea (or involvement) in or about. Gee, what an ego booster — now I’m being totally ignored across my own personal bandwidth of cyberspace. I feel like I’m back in high school–only this time instead of getting rejected by the jocks and socialites, I’m being rejected by people I’ve known since my childhood. Did I mention how much that says “loser”?
Add to this the ultimate insult — several weeks ago I sent out requests to two family members to be added onto their list. They still haven’t replied.
So, enough of that ego-crushing bullshit. I’ve decided to close down shop and keep the home fire burning right here — where I am quickly being accepted into this lovely little community of writers. I’ve been spending a lot of time decorating my home and visiting my neighbors. I’ve hosted a few house parties myself — with almost 1,400 visitors stopping by within the last month, bringing nice, warm, welcome baskets of fun, frivolity and blossoming friendships. And ya know what? 1,400 visitors makes me way more popular than those 12 measly so-called “Facebook friends” of mine. So all I can say is:
IN YOUR FACE, FACEBOOK!
This is MY home town now.