I dedicate this post to a friend from my past — if you’ve followed my url, you’ll know who you are.
I turned 45 last Friday, yet I don’t feel 45. Sure, I feel older — bones creak more, gravity has taken its toll, and now with “the change” coming, I find myself weeping during commercials with puppies in them. Why? I don’t know, it just seems like something I should do without feeling embarrassed by it. Getting older is like old people and farts — these things happen, sometimes when you aren’t even looking.
But, I want to specifically dedicate THIS post to my past. To a “certain person” I met years ago (almost 19 now, wow) who was no doubt one of the funniest men I have ever met. He knows who he is.
It’s weird how we’ve managed to reconnect. A few nights ago, and for reasons still unknown to me, I dreamt about him. I dreamt he was working in an on-the-road traveling comedy troupe, and I saw him one night up on stage. (If you knew the guy, you’d say “Yep, that’s where he needs to be”) I shouted “Hey! I know that dude!” and tried to get his attention, but he just ignored me, called security and went on his merry way — by riding in the back of a truck that delivers new cars to dealerships. (Hey, it’s MY dream, I can’t explain it — these dreams just “happen”). But I woke up from that dream thinking two things: “WTF?” followed quickly by the infamous “I wonder if he’s on Facebook…?”
(Oh yea — about Facebook. I wrote about that networking site a few months ago. Well, I’m not feeling so high school “uncool” anymore over there. After whining about my lack of being included at “the cool kids table”, I got enough people to validate my existence that I don’t feel so “climb the clock tower”ish anymore. So, I’ve decided to hang around there a little while longer.)
I’m glad I did too. After this completely random, incongruent, and inexplicable dream I had, I logged onto Facebook, did a quick search and — holy highballs! He’s on there! Wow. What a moment of serendipity for me. And, he hasn’t changed a bit. At least not from what I can tell.
He and I share a tiny bit of history that still makes me laugh out loud whenever I think about it. Noooo, not THAT kind of history. Sheesh. I’ve often used this particular moment in our history as a great attention-getter in class. I start with the line: “Wanna hear about the time I smuggled something illegally into the country?” Nothing quiets a class of middle school students down faster than hearing their Cheez Whiz and Wonderbread of a teacher say the words “smuggle” and “illegally” in the same sentence. (Of COURSE we do, Mrs. B, we’d be idiots not to get the goods on our teacher to use at a later date!)
Of course the REAL story to my smuggling is way different than what transpires in the under-developed, nefarious minds of the young adolescent, but it makes for great story telling. Especially when I include what might possibly be the funniest, gut-busting line of all times ever uttered by any human: “I know this might sound gross, but how big is your anus?”
Wow. Almost 19 years later, and I’m STILL laughing about this. That’s some heavy duty comedy fire power.
Thanks, Dan, for making me laugh after all these years. I’m so glad we’ve reconnected.